The weirdest thing happened this morning was, I woke up with tears in my eyes , and one rolling down my cheek , and I knew I must have been dreaming of him again. Erm, I know i'm not supposed to love him, to care about him, not supposed to live my life wishing him were there, and i'm not supposed to wonder where he was and what he do. He not worth the tears, he not worth the heartache. I don't know why I give him the time. He not worth the pain, he not worth the emptiness. I don't know why I wish he were mine still. I'm sorry for crying over you, zulhilmi, because I said I wouldn't. But I didn't promise you that, because I knew it would be a promise I would never be able to keep. Nothing hurts more than realising you meant everything to me, but i meant nothing to you. But i can no longer pretend , i have to remember now that you're just a friend, not more than that. I just want you to know something, i love you but i don't wish you to come back. Okaaay , cheers .

Okaay next, oh, many people told me that i changed . I changed to be more fierce. I can't control my anger now. I realised it people. But i just want you people to understand me. There's lot i have to think about. & with this, i had an argument with my beloved cousin, bie.

To dearest Bie ;
im sorie . its just not the right time for me to tell u everything. i just need u to understand me . and i know, if i told u about this, u're surely mad at me. Its okaay if u're avoiding me for this few days. Coz i know, u cared about me. and u really really want to know what's the BIG SECRET thingy. But seriously , pls , its not the very right time laa dear cousin . 5 more days for ur big day. i'll make sure im gonna make u happy. Sorie, i can't effort to give u any presents. but im gonna pray for u that u'll always be fine and last long with dy . and that's a promised from me to you.

There's alot more i would want to post . But, sorie , i need to wipe those tears . will update tmr.